On 2010-08-06 16:00:31... It's not easy being a single parent, but I can see it from Melissa's point of view as well. I agree with the other comments that you should write some more.
On 2010-08-06 15:10:30... It's too easy to say that everyone MUST comment if you've read a piece of someone's work. I agree that's what everyone hopes for, but it's not always that simple.
e.g. I'm not religious but I may read religious work, but lack enough knowledge to fully comment/appreciate/disagree with it.
Also, I cannot believe how many people will use 'nit-picking' as a form of 'constructive criticism' on here. Telling someone how to spell doesn't improve their work.
I'm sure there are many first-time writers/poets out there that are put off posting more on here because of the 'critique' they receive.
I do agree that sometimes, people need to be told if their idea isn't working, without being nasty.
On 2010-06-06 10:58:40... I don't know what to make of this. It's very short. Maybe you should have called it 'Numbers' instead. because Amy was obsessed with them.
On 2010-06-06 10:44:46... To Kirsty Phillips and Louise Furey: When I'd written this, I chose not to make it 'flow' on purpose. Not all poems rhyme do they? This girls life doesn't 'flow' - it was meant to reflect this. I know that won't be obvious to anyone else.
Also: it's all written in the third-person. Each stanza starts with 'She' not 'I' - why the confusion? It's written from my viewpoint- not the girl's.
On 2010-05-31 09:32:17... Thankyou Richard for your comment. Yes, I purposely jumped from child-hood to adult-hood rather quickly, because I felt it would have become repetitive.
In regards to the first stanza, the 'looking thin' bit relates to her wanting her parents attention. She thinks thats the only way to be noticed, not because she wants to be thin.
On 2010-05-28 11:53:55... In response to Jacqi D - I didn't write this as though every girl is 'weak' and 'need a man' to be a success in life. It is my personal view that a lot of girls would rather be alone, than risk being hurt again, and also draws from my own experiences. I'm not a chauvinist - so I don't welcome any feminist-type type response.
If you had read what I had put as a description, Jacqui D. it states: 'Too many girls feel like this' NOT every girl.
On 2010-05-02 15:01:16... I would encourage you to perhaps aim for writing a chapter first, then aim to write a story as more ideas come to you. Tell us more about Katie - her dreams, her friends, her family.
The start shows promise. Don't give up and do post post more.
Good luck.
On 2010-03-30 22:40:39... It's a good continuation Dan. I could imagine the sounds of the harp in the background. I'll look for the next one.
I think that each chapter could pass as part of a play.
On 2010-03-30 22:21:55... I actually disagree with some of the other comments. To me, I don't see the need to go into precise detail with characters in the very first chapter. Especially with so many main characters. In a short-story, then I would agree with them.
I like that it's got a little humour going through it as well. I enjoyed it and will read the next chapter.
On 2010-03-27 11:49:10... It's a good start Becky. I think the girl is brave to walk out after realising her life is going nowhere, with a boyfriend that doesn't care. I hope you've written more to post.
On 2010-03-21 16:56:17... There's so many thoughts and emotions in here. I'm not sure who it's written for. It seems to me that someone once let you down, then gradually became your rock, that you find hard to leave behind.
What I will say is: Only do something because YOU want to, not what others think or want of you. Only then, can you be truly happy.
On 2010-02-27 18:37:51... I think you have captured the feeling of falling in love perfectly. Other writers have said all the superlatives, so there's not much I could add. It's very nice indeed.
On 2010-02-23 19:42:47... I thought it was a well-thought out poem. You've clearly thought about all different view-points within the poem. If everyone reads it objectively, I hope nobody gets offended. But everyone's entitled to their own view. Well done.
On 2010-02-23 16:39:28... Very nice. Keep writing.
The content of this website is copyright of its members and contributors. People who take part in, post or contribute to this website are bound by the Terms and Conditions of the website.
